In life, we often say goodbye to different people in different circumstances, though the hardest departure is when a loved leaves the Earth realm.
When people can’t say good-bye, it can possibly make the other soul linger and unable to leave, becoming Earth-bound. Is it love or attachment?
Attachment can cause more pain but love will give the freedom to let others go.
Instead people often wonder:
“Why did they leave me alone?”
“I wish they’d stay with me.Where do they go? ”
“How long will I go through this pain?”
“My life will never be the same without them.”
When we lose a beloved one, the sorrow, regret and poignant feelings can be overwhelming and many have described the tears as flowing like an endless ocean. Most people will experience the process of three stages:
Grieving, remembering, and new life-celebration. After all, we will all need to face the departure of loved ones and some day will become our own turn to leave the Earth.
In traditional cultivation, some actually know when they are leaving and even how to leave. One of the most famous true stories is about a Zen master named Deng YinFeng, during the Tang Dynasty. When this master was a little boy, he was too wild to be disciplined by his parents, so they sent him to a Zen monastery. Later, he became an enlightened Zen Master. When he decided to leave the Earth, he asked his disciples: “Have you ever seen anyone die with their body upside down?” His disciples said: “No, we have not.”
“I will show you how tomorrow.” He replied.
The next morning, he was found standing upside down, in the middle of the courtyard, so, as they wanted to take his body down, they realized it was unmovable. His sister was also a very advanced cultivator, so she shouted: “Brother! You have always been messing up things and putting things upside down. Now you have passed, you are still doing this, it’s enough.” Then his body fell down flat on the ground.
The true cultivators not only can choose when to leave, but also how to leave the World. That is wisdom and freedom.
Though the majority of people leave unexpectedly, and much sooner than their family wish for. That’s because naturally, it’s very challenging for people to endure the pain from physical separation, and mostly the mental and emotional attachment.
One phenomena is that afterwards, some people have experienced the deceased loved one coming back in their dreams, talking to them as if it was real life, the saddened family members then feel better and happier that they are still connected.
So, if you can gift a loved one something, what can they receive on the other side?
A good deed in their name, a prayer?
The best gift is wisdom from this Heart Sutra:
jiē dì jiē dì bo luo jiē dì bo luo sēng jiē dì pú tí sà pó hē
Go! Go! Go beyond! Go completely beyond! Awakening! Hail!
This way, when you send a spiritual gift to your loved one on the other side.
You both gain wisdom on seeing what life and death really about. Both can overcome the attachment and deeply understand that:
Someday, you will meet again.
Written by Chiyan Wang
Editing Credit to Simon Rimbert